Ignite CSP

There’s No Such Thing as “Tips” for Better Public Speaking

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There’s a real problem with the articles and tweets that advertise “Ten Tips 272Hto Being a Great Public Speaker” and similar titles. The promise is that, if you just read and understand these quick suggestions, your progress to being a “great speaker” will be well on its way.

Believe me, I understand the appeal. A couple of years ago, my husband got me a guitar and guitar lessons for Christmas. I plunged in, very excited, imagining that by the next holiday season I’d be leading the family in carols, strumming chords on my guitar.  The reality turned out to be very different. I would go to a lesson, practice some, and still not be able to play a C chord. I made lots of excuses: my hands are small, the strings hurt my fingers, I don’t think my hand bends that way, etc. In short, if I had come across an article titled “Ten Tips to Becoming a Great Guitar Player,” I would have downloaded that thing faster than I could, well, play a C chord.

I never found an article like that. You know why? Because the only way to become a good musician is by putting in the hours practicing the instrument.

Somehow, though, people in the public speaking and presentation coaching field get away with promising something we can’t deliver: that people who follow our bits of advice will succeed without specifically mentioning practice and how to implement it. These often include tips like: “Make eye contact.” “Tell a joke to break the ice.” “Use this specific gesture to emphasize a point.” “Persuade your audience to your point of view.” And my favorite, “be confident.”

It’s like if there were a blog post titled “How to Be a Great Basketball Player,” and the tips were: “Make lay-ups.” “Dribble.” “Pass to the other players on your team.” These are indeed some of the ingredients that would go into making a good player, but they miss the point. No one is going to just read that list and walk onto a court ready to play at any level.

Most people avoid practicing at all costs, and those who do, often practice inefficiently and end up reinforcing bad habits. If you want to be a better public speaker, you need to identify what’s working and what isn’t, ideally through feedback from a trusted source, and then you need to intentionally practice those elements of your personal speaking style.

You don’t have to have a coach to practice effectively, but a coach can see things you can’t (like the lipstick all over your face), and she can help you be accountable for practicing. Just like in basketball, or music, or cooking, or any other skill worth doing well. Don’t rely on “tips and tricks.” If you want to be a better speaker, dig in. It’s worth it.

 

Actors Make Great Coaches

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Actors As Coaches?!

Um, really, Angie? Actors? Actors are egomaniacs! They are total narcissists! Coaches have to be able to listen, to support someone else. How could an actor make a great coach?

Listen, I’ve worked in professional theater for my whole adult life, and I know every stereotype about actors that’s out there. I know lots and lots and LOTS of actors. In fact, not only is my best friend an actor, but my husband is also an actor!  Here’s my favorite light-bulb joke: How many actors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. He stands still and lets the world revolve around him.

Actors Can Listen

I can tease because I know the truth. Really skilled actors are the best listeners you’ll ever meet. They know that the essence of deep communication is not talking, but listening. They know how to let go of wanting to control a conversation or a moment, and they simply let it happen. This is where the magic of coaching can take place–in the unknown, unplanned space between two people.

Ignite CSP’s coaching staff is made up of people whose lives and experiences are formed in the theater. When a cast of actors and a director come together to create a play, they don’t know exactly what they are beginning. They have the script as a road-map, and each artist’s talent and craft is their own toolkit. Most importantly, though, they have each other as a highly skilled ensemble that experiments, creates, fails, and succeeds, often all in the same rehearsal. This process is deep in our bones, so when we engage with a coaching client, it comes naturally to listen, to co-create.

New Name, New Website!

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Welcome to Ignite CSP!

When our company was born in 2007, we had to come up with a name pretty quickly. We knew we’d be working with corporate executives, and we’re all theatre people, so we combined “executive” and the word for a roster of plays (or in this case, skills): “repertory.”  This name served us well, and we made lots of friends using it! Nine (gulp) years later, it was time for a new look at who we are, who we serve, and what we do.

“To Ignite”

A presentation we do frequently to introduce groups to our method involves demonstrating a piece of text in two different ways. Ignite CSP coach Vivian Smith always uses this intention (objective, motivation): “to ignite” the audience. This is a metaphor, of course–she wants to spark ideas and interest in the people listening to her speak.

As we were thinking of renaming the company, the word “ignite” kept coming up. The crowning touch was the addition of CSP (coaching, speaking, presenting) to spell out what we do.

What’s Different?

We still serve executives at all levels of big companies, and that is some of our favorite work. But in the last nine years, we have also coached people at start-ups, clergy, political leaders, activists, teachers, IT gurus, keynote speakers, non-profit staffs and boards, teachers, and students. We are excited to bring Ignite CSP to anyone who wants to develop mindful, intentional communication, whether at work or in their personal lives.

In the next couple of months, we will be rolling out a robust online platform that provides real-time, personal coaching via video-conference. You can book this online, like a hair cut. The vast improvements in video-conferencing have made this practical and easy, and we are looking forward to meeting clients from all over the world.

Stay tuned for more about that, and meanwhile find us on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook!

 

Seven “I Hate Public Speaking” New Year’s Resolutions

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  1. screen_shot_2015-12-29_at_11.15.01_amResolve to avoid all public speaking.
  2. Realize this is not a sustainable resolution; resolve to mostly avoid public speaking.
  3. Do great at Resolution #2 until someone at work tells you that you have to present at a meeting in two weeks. Resolve to ignore this for at least one week.
  4. The meeting is tomorrow. You panicked for the whole two weeks. Resolve to just get through this presentation.
  5. The presentation is behind you, but the anxiety leading up to it was awful. Resolve never to feel that kind of panic again.
  6. Resolve to quell your fear of public speaking. You take a measured and deliberate approach: you prepare ahead of time, practice in low-stakes situations, get positive feedback, and remember that your job as a speaker is to create an experience for your audience.
  7. Resolve to do more public speaking, since you’re awesome at it! Happy 2016!!

An Introvert’s Guide to Surviving Holiday Parties

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screen_shot_2015-12-02_at_3.34.19_pmIt’s that time of year again—the merry-go-round of holiday parties at the office, in the neighborhood, at book club, at your spouse’s office, at the kids’ school…the list goes on and on. As an introvert, that packed calendar, full of occasions when I will have to make small talk with people I don’t know, makes me want to put my head down on my desk.

But wait! I’ve learned a few tricks over the years that I’ll be using this holiday season, and I’m going to let you in on the secret. (Spoiler: the secret is not “have a couple of drinks.”)

  1. Decide that you’re going to have a good time. This may sound obvious, but often we are anxious about the party, and we bring our nervousness into our expectations about the whole event. Remember that you do like people! And that the rest of these tips are going to help you enjoy the party.
  2. Stand in line. As you are waiting to get food or a drink, it’s a natural and easy time to exchange a few words with the person nearest you. Offer your name, then follow up with a comment about how you know the hosts, a compliment of your new friend’s clothes or jewelry, or a question about what brought them to the get-together. The finite nature of the line itself gives a quick out if you’d like to get away from the conversation, or you can keep chatting when you’re out of the line if things have gone well.
  3. Give yourself a goal. If you know a few people at the party, don’t just huddle with them on the couch. This is a great, low-stakes chance to practice chatting—give yourself an achievable goal, like “I’m going to talk with three people I’ve never met.” Once you’ve met three new people, you can go hang with your friends.
  4. Ask if you can help. Sometimes introverts feel awkward because we feel out of place. If you know the host well enough, see if you can come a little early and help them move chairs or put ice in the cooler. You will have loosened up before the other guests start to arrive, and you may feel more comfortable with the gradual build-up of guests than walking into a full-on party.
  5. All parties are not created equal. Some parties you have to go to, some you really should, some you really want to. If you know the holiday party swing is going to leave you with too little alone time, budget your energy. It’s fine to go to a party and stay for just 30 minutes, so look over your calendar and decide where that party energy is best spent.

Happy holidays, fellow introverts! May your home be a quiet oasis this holiday season. ☺

Diffusing Tension at the Thanksgiving Table!

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screen_shot_2015-11-19_at_12.15.07_pmOkay, folks, one week until Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. One of the things I love about it is that so many people have giant dinner parties with lots of guests, some of whom have never met, and others who may know each other only too well.

As we are reminded every year, there can be conversational pitfalls with such a diverse group of guests. The old and wise advice to steer clear of politics and religion is a great thing to remember. There is another great tip to keep in mind, particularly as the wine flows and the tongues loosen. If a touchy subject comes up, and especially if you suddenly feel defensive or angry, ask yourself this question before you speak: “What impact do I want to have with my words?”

As you look across the table at the person you’re speaking to, think about what you might say, and especially, how you might say it. Check into your body–are you clenching your hands, stiffening your posture, ready for a fight? Or are you relaxed, ready to have a reasonable discussion or to change the subject? Even a quick moment of breathing and consciously relaxing can allow you to gather your thoughts and be truly intentional about the impact you are going to make. Also remember: saying nothing is always an option. 🙂

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone; may your feasts be festive and your conversations be sparkling!

Do This One Thing and You Won’t Need to Hire Us

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1Seriously.

If every speaker will remember that their job is to create an experience for their audience, you will never need to hire a coach.

Here’s what that means in practice:

  • Create your content with your audience in mind. What do you want them to walk away thinking about, talking about?
  • Eliminate behaviors that distract your audience–remember, this is for them, not for you.
  • Practice your speech. On your feet, out loud, with your slides if you’re using them. Your speech is a performance, and you’re responsible for the impact on your audience.

That’s it. That’s the secret sauce. Okay, I’ll admit that this advice is much easier to implement with a coach, but these are the building blocks of great public speaking.

(And if you’d rather practice with a coach, get in touch!)

The Raging Debate About Women’s Voices

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womens-voicesA recent NPR story ( http://www.npr.org/2015/07/23/425608745/from-upspeak-to-vocal-fry-are-we…) explored the idea that we “police women’s voices,” complaining when they use “vocal fry” and “up-speak” despite the fact that men also use both of these derided habits of speech.

Since I make my living teaching people to present themselves powerfully, every friend who heard the NPR story posted it to my Facebook wall. What did I think? I asked myself–do I police women’s voices when I coach them to land their sentences instead of having an upward inflection?

The truth is that I have seen men and women use both vocal fry and up-speak. And I coach them all to develop a wider range of vocal expression so that they have that whole range accessible to them–it is better to have more tools, to be equipped for more experiences, and to be able to choose to use up-speak but not use it so often that it becomes a distraction. Just as an dancer who has full use of her body is a better dancer, so a speaker who has full use of her voice is a better speaker.

One woman quoted in the NPR story said that not using up-speak made her feel self-conscious. If I were her coach, I would ask her who her words are for–are they for her, or for her audience? If she is not a professional speaker, this is irrelevant.  But if she is (and this woman was a journalist with occasional podcasting responsibilities, so it could go either way) then the onus is on her to push through the self-consciousness and develop her vocal instrument, just as dancers stretch at the barre and practice fundamentals.

What do you think? Do you hear up-speak and vocal fry around you? Do you love it, hate it, do it yourself, not care? 🙂

The Biggest Mistake You’re Making When You Write a Speech

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“This just doesn’t sound right.”

“It looked good on the page, but when I said it during my presentation…”

My clients often tell me how perplexed they were when the words that they polished so lovingly on the page failed to come to life when they said them out loud. The simple fact to remember is that sentences that are written to be read are (literally!) not created the same as those meant to be spoken. Read a contemporary play or screenplay: with few exceptions you’ll see that the dialogue doesn’t read like it might in a novel. Those writers are always working with the speaker and the audience in mind–not a reader.

As you are working on your speech, take frequent breaks to read what you’ve written out loud. Pay particular attention to transitions–connecting the end of one paragraph to the beginning of the next when you don’t have the formatting on the page to help your reader. Are you going to pause? Maybe add a few words to connect the dots for your audience? Details like this can make the difference between a presentation that is stilted and uncomfortable to deliver and one that flows naturally.

Has Anyone Ever Given You This Advice?

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public-speaking-dagumWe’ve all heard the advice, “Just picture everyone in the audience naked!”

I’ll just tell you now–this probably won’t work. Oh, you can look out at the audience and imagine them without clothes on, but then…you’re thinking about your audience with no clothes on. You’re not thinking about your presentation. (Unless you are planning to talk about how all of those people are naked, in which case, carry on! That should be an interesting PowerPoint.)

“But what will work?” you ask. Here’s the cheat sheet:

  1. Know why you’re talking. What’s your goal? What’s your intention?
  2. Make sure your body and your voice and your content are all telling the same story. If you’re talking about how pleased you are to be there, your energy needs to be up, your voice energetic, and everything about you should be saying “There’s no place I’d rather be.”
  3. Practice. Stand up and say the words out loud. A bunch.

“But it’s faster to imagine everyone naked! I don’t have time to do all this homework.”

You’re right; it’s faster not to do the homework. But let me ask you this: what happens after you imagine everyone in their birthday suits? You still have to start talking. You still have to do the number one most important thing, which is connect with your audience. So let them keep their clothes on, and take some time before your presentation to really prepare. Everybody will be happier.