Tips

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That Dirty Little Secret

I’ve noticed an interesting tendency among many of the high-achieving, smart people I coach. When they’re telling me what they would like to get out of our coaching relationship, they drop their volume, avert their eyes, and confess, “Sometimes I get really nervous when I have to speak in public. I know it’s stupid, but—“ …

Why Your Feedback May Not Be Worthwhile (part one)

I recently saw a short video featuring the actor, director, and writer Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live, Barry). In it, he is talking about the process of writing, and how to make what you write better. But what he says has application to many areas where we receive feedback. Here’s what he says: “When people …

I Can’t Hear You When I’m Looking at My Phone

It was a busy morning in our house, and I needed to leave early. I asked my kids to do several things before they left for school.  The first thing I asked my daughter to do involved looking up information on her phone. While she was doing that, I said, “Please make sure to get …

Fitting It in Around the Edges

I have coached a lot of people who are preparing for big presentations: to get promotions, interview for jobs, or speak in front of high-stakes audiences. Recently, for the first time, a client asked me: “When you’ve coached people before who have been successful at this, what is the common thread? Is there something they …

Projectors Are LOUD

Quick tip: If you’re speaking in a meeting, facilitating, or presenting in the same room with a projector, remember that projectors are loud. Projectors have built-in fans, and those create white noise. We acclimate to the white noise, and then we don’t quite realize that we need to project over the projector. Make it easy …

What Do I Really Want to Say?

Here is something that frequently happens when I’m working with a client on a speech, talk, or presentation: We rehearse what they’ve written, which is fine, but almost always takes a while to get to the point. I ask, “What are you hoping the audience will take away from what you say?” They tell me, …

New Eyes

Lately, I’ve really gotten into the New York Times game Spelling Bee. It’s a word game: there are six letters arranged around one letter in the center (like a daisy). The object is to make as many words as you can from the seven letters, and each of them must contain the center letter. Usually, …

My Priorities, Your Priorities, Our Priorities

In many fields, teams work together to achieve something. Could be a software launch, a complex tax return, building a house, or winning a basketball game. In each case, though, lots of things have to get done, and different people are responsible for various tasks. Ultimately, they all have to come together in a timely …

It’s Not About You

People are almost always thinking about themselves. So they’re not thinking about you. And when you’re most worried that they’re thinking about you? They’re still thinking about themselves. I find this really freeing!  What’s possible when I remember that I’m really the only person thinking about me?

When It’s Tough to Be Your Own Cheerleader

I hate running. I know there are a lot of people who love it, who find peace and even exultation in running. That sounds great! My experience is more like: “This is terrible, my legs are heavy, I’m so slow, nobody is as slow as I am, this is dumb, when will this be over”—at …

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