A longtime friend and colleague, Josh, wrote last week with some thoughts in response to the post titled “Ask questions.”  Here is what I wrote:   So often when we’re not sure what to say, maybe in a situation when we have to talk with people we don’t know well, we try to turn the …

When you ask a friend or colleague how they’re doing, how often do you get the response, “Busy!”   And when you do, what does it tell you? Do you know what they’re excited about, what their job is asking of them, what keeps them up at night? Do you know what initiatives they’ve led, …

Whether you know it or not, you make a difference. Every day. Something you say, something you do, affects other people.   We can never know when or how one of our actions may resonate through time, or how it may influence others. But it’s worth remembering that sometimes our lightest, most thoughtless words and …

Last week my daughter and I were playing mini-golf. I noticed that she tended to sort of casually approach the ball and, with her feet at angles to one another and her weight in one hip, swipe it in the direction of the hole.   “Set your feet,” I told her. “Distribute your weight evenly. …

If the purpose of communication is to create a change, to make something different as a result of speaking, then often we are simply pretending to communicate.   Conference calls, webinars, standing meetings that consist of nothing but status reports–these are the theatre of communication. These platforms allow us to say “we told them about …

So often when we’re not sure what to say, maybe in a situation when we have to talk with people we don’t know well, we try to turn the conversation to topics we’re familiar with. Sports, movies, our last vacation…these give us a place to start from.   The trouble here, though, is that it’s …

One of the most common verbal habits we hear these days is the ubiquitous “So, um…” It usually comes before the speaker gets into their first point or next thought. It’s a verbal security blanket that fills the space between paragraphs, so the speaker doesn’t ever really pause.   I’ve thought about where this comes …

A few years ago I was coaching a client who swayed back and forth as he spoke. We were videoing his talk, and I thought that when he saw how extreme his movement was, he’d be surprised.   “Oh, yes, I know that I do that when I speak,” he said. “It makes me feel …

You’re in charge.   If you are looking for the text on your slide to tell you what’s next, you’re not in charge. If you can’t do your presentation without your slides, you’re not in charge. If the audience could get the information from your deck without you there, you’re not in charge (and why …

The hotel room I was visiting in Germany this week offered coffee, like most of the hotel rooms I stay in. Typically there’s a tiny version of a kitchen coffeemaker or one of the pod-type machines, generating weak brown liquid with caffeine that’s just passable to get me through my morning to a real cup …