What’s really happening when we tell ourselves we can’t

A few years ago, I was coaching a woman I had been working with for several months. She had a high-stakes presentation coming up, and it was starting to sound like she wasn’t going to be able to do it.


I don’t mean “she wouldn’t be able to do a good job.” I mean, she could not make herself stand up and practice. She Could. Not. Do. It. 


When I asked her to tell me what she felt like, what was going on inside, she said, “It’s like I’m enveloped in resistance.”


Whoa. Okay, that’s a lot to overcome. This is where I switch from “presentation skills coach” to “leadership coach.” There wasn’t going to be any presenting going on until she got through some of this resistance. 


We talked for a while about what the presentation represents for her, why she was reluctant to share her (great and powerful) story, and what it meant that this sense of resistance was keeping her in her seat. I shared that, sometimes, our bodies act on the orders of our subconscious, and her subconscious must have something important to say. 


This is the work we are doing when we coach people to be better presenters. Yes, we give you feedback on the way you speak and the gestures you use. But more than that, we help you see that the story you’re telling yourself informs every part of the experience for you (and thus, for your audience.) 


This client was trying to push through years of old stories that made her feel less-than, and these were stories that she believed. Some were stories she told herself, and those are the hardest to dismantle.

What old stories are you hanging on to? Do they still serve you, or are they remnants that are keeping you back?


Many people have limiting stories about their ability to present and speak in public. As the woman in this example experienced, it’s almost impossible to present well when you’re in the grip of those stories. Ignite CSP’s Public Speaking Catalyst is open for enrollment now. Don’t wait–each cohort is limited to 12. The five-week small group coaching experience starts January 18, 2021.

Learn more here!!

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