In business conversations, there are usually two things being managed. The first is the task that needs to be accomplished. The second is the relationship between the people who are talking. Sometimes it’s 95% task, 5% relationship, or vice versa, but there is always some proportion of task and relationship at play.
This is important for a lot of reasons, but today I want to think about what this means when our conversations are happening virtually. When we’re on conference calls or video calls, a lot of the emotional content is stripped away from our understanding of each other. Other people are harder to read. The call feels like an intrusion or at least an interruption in our day. Most crucially, the small, almost invisible moments of communication we have with each other, the ones that help us understand where other people are coming from and how they’re feeling, are all completely gone.
That twenty seconds of catching-up when you’re both filling your coffee cups? Gone.
The thoughtful daily acts that bolster your regard for each other? Gone.
The chat that reinforces your team relationships as you’re settling in for a meeting? Gone.
The fifteen seconds of unplanned interaction that clears up confusion about a project? Gone.
When we are communicating via call and video call, we have scheduled this time to talk. And all the best practices of meetings will tell you that this is exactly the right thing to do—have an agenda, be focused, don’t waste time. But it is worth remembering that Tasks to Get Done are not the only things worth having on the agenda. How can you build in time to try to reclaim some of that catching-up, the chatting, the serendipity that happens when people are in the same place at the same time?
Getting things done is valuable. But nurturing the relationships on your team is vital.
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