Who Gets to Decide How We Communicate?

I had a really interesting conversation recently about how hard it can be to communicate asynchronously, through email, Slack, or text. This person pointed out that in his work environment, he felt like he might be one of the only people who really felt like he needed the nonverbal cues we get from in-person communication. He would have to, he said, “learn to rely less on his strengths in communication and figure out how to be more text-based.”

I can’t tell you how sad, and concerned, this makes me. Figuring out how to be more agile and flexible communicators in all kinds of channels isn’t a bad thing—far from it. But in this case, and I suspect in many cases, the push to asynchronous communication was being driven by the top guy in the company, without anyone looking into the best ways to make this style work for everyone.

As with so many things, we assume that the way we communicate is the default. “This is the way to do it! Why would you ever do anything different?” That sentiment could refer equally to someone championing phone calls over emails, Slack over real-time meetings, and the benefits of a 50-50 hybrid culture.

My point here is that every single person has strong communication preferences. The boss can dictate how it should all happen, but unless he invests some time and resources in getting all the different styles in sync, the opportunities for miscommunication, hurt feelings, misunderstanding, and dropped balls abound. All this is before we even dig into the power dynamics implicit in the boss getting to communicate in the way he prefers, without checking in across the team.

I predict that we’re going to see more and more of these tensions in remote and hybrid communication, and I’m very curious about what you’re seeing already. What kind of work communication do you prefer, for what kinds of things? What situations make you feel most collaborative? Most efficient? What do you do to prevent misunderstanding?

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