The director of a play or a movie is responsible for ensuring that the arc of the story makes sense, that every choice coheres into a whole. She makes sure that the way a scene unfolds early in the story will lead inevitably to what happens at the end.  Every decision has to serve that …

Over the last couple of years, a phrase has popped up that makes me uncomfortable every time I hear it.   The phrase is “high-quality people.”   I’ve heard it most often in a business setting, referring to the types of workers who leaders want to attract and retain. But a quick search reveals the …

It’s such a funny paradox.   Most people plan to practice when they have a big speech or presentation coming up. They know from past experience that they will feel more prepared, less worried, if they practice. They notice a strange flutter of butterflies when someone asks them how the preparation is coming, and they …

The question actors get more than any other, by far, is this: How did you learn all those lines?   The answer isn’t that interesting—they learn their lines by repeating them over and over.   But the lines aren’t the goal. Remembering the words is the most basic task of the actor—without that building block, …

The right time to ask “what is this for?*” is—   when you’re creating something new when you need to pivot before you speak in a charged or high-stakes atmosphere when you are planning an event for other people when you are planning something for yourself when circumstances have changed and you need a new …

My mother is a wise and nurturing parent, and I have always had a terrific relationship with her. One of the best lessons she ever taught me was this: “You’re not special.”   Why would she say this? Isn’t her job to make me feel like I could do anything, like I was a stand-out? …

We can be totally prepared for our presentation or talk, and when we arrive, the room itself is conspiring against us.   One of the most challenging set-ups is the long, shallow room. Typically you see this in a corporate setting, when several training areas open into each other to create a narrow rectangle. The …

A number of years ago, I was fortunate to spend most of the summer in France at the Avignon Theatre Festival, performing with a company of my friends.   When we weren’t in Avignon performing, we took day trips to neighboring towns. On one trip, the group decided to split up and meet back in …

Someone asserts an opinion, and what you want to say in rebuttal flares up, hot and ready  to fire.   Ask yourself: what do I want to accomplish by saying this? See where your true intention is.   If the answer is something along the lines of “I want to show her how wrong she …

People almost always say, “A leader seems confident.” What I’m interested in is what the leader is actually doing that conveys confidence, and why does that matter to the person watching?   When you imagine a leader, how does she make you feel?   Now think: what does she do that makes you feel that …