Choosing the perfect words is a waste of time

“Weeoweeoweeowee! Weeowee!”   My lunch partner is quite the conversationalist. Despite the fact that everything she says is some version of “wee-o-wee,” I always know what she means.   This scintillating raconteur is my toddler goddaughter, and she’s great at letting me know what’s going on and what she wants even when she doesn’t have ... Continue Reading

Why it doesn’t matter if you say “um”

When you ask your friend for feedback about your presentation, the chances are good that they will let you know that a.) you did a good job (“no filler words!”), or b.) you were saying “um” or “uh” a lot, and you should stop doing that.   No offense to your friend, but none of ... Continue Reading

“Don’t touch your face!”

These days, we’re all hearing a lot of warnings about touching our faces. Angie has a slightly different take on this advice–            

Stating your allegiance.

Signs in the yard Bumper stickers on the car T-shirts Placards Hats Posters Flags   There are a million ways we can blazon our allegiance to a team, a cause, a candidate, a brand.  When we choose to wear/stick/wave one of these, we’re saying: “You can understand something about me from this sign/logo/mascot.”   It’s ... Continue Reading

Is there something in my teeth?

You’d hate to come offstage after totally killing a speech, only to find that there was a giant piece of spinach between your front teeth.   Mispronouncing words and misusing phrases can have the same effect on our audience as  a distracting piece of spinach in your teeth. They will do their best to look ... Continue Reading

I disagree.

I disagree.   These two words can be hard for a lot of us to say.   Depending on the context and the topic, we’d rather do almost anything than say to someone, “I disagree with you.” We might think it, or post it on Twitter to a stranger, but engaging with another person we ... Continue Reading

Breathe first.

Before you speak, breathe.   They may seem obvious. The voice is carried on the breath, after all, so it’s almost impossible to speak without breathing.   But often, when we’re about to start speaking in public, we let out a breath and then try to start speaking from that place. It puts us “behind ... Continue Reading

Stepping across the line

There is a moment in most big endeavors that separates Before and After. You hear someone introduce you, and then you step out onto the stage and in front of the microphone. The time counts down, then the starting gun fires and the race begins. The ball is thrown up in the air and the ... Continue Reading

Telling vs. living

Last week I got to watch a group of interesting, passionate women tell stories.   One woman shared the story of when she started a golf tournament fundraiser for her local Make-A-Wish chapter.  The first section was very deliberately crafted—she used phrases like “And then I turned from my computer and let out a sigh ... Continue Reading

Cutting down the nets

Jim Valvano, the charismatic coach of NC State’s basketball team from 1980-1990, is renowned for having his team practice cutting down the nets, like you do after you win a championship. In 1983, his underdog Wolfpack famously beat team after team that was favored to win, until finally, they won the NCAA National Championship.   ... Continue Reading