Communication is approximation

Every time we communicate, we’re guessing. What words will convey our meaning most closely? How can I say this so that she really gets it? What tone of voice will help my words hit their mark?

 

This gets harder when the message is more complicated—not necessarily technically complicated, but emotionally complicated. How can I give this feedback so she knows I’m still on her side? How do I ask for what I need without seeming needy? What words can I use to convey the gravity of the situation without making anyone panic?

 

The approximate nature of communication is particularly worth remembering when we are listening. Instead of rushing to conclusions, try asking more questions to make sure that we are getting as close to what the speaker intended as possible. Try assuming that the speaker has the best of intentions, and work together to reach understanding.

 

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