The Problem with Peanut Butter
Peanut butter is a delicious and filling snack. Peanut butter is sticky. Peanut butter eaten ten minutes before you’re recording an interview is…not a great idea. Maybe have some apple slices instead. (My son Cameron read this blog post and said, “I don’t get it. Is there a metaphor here?” Nope. No metaphor. Straight talk …
The Control Panel of Behavior
Sometimes I think about all of our vast array of communication behaviors as being like knobs and sliders on a control panel. Each one of the knobs adjusts and mediates a behavior: pausing, volume, eye contact, gestures, cadence, pace, vocabulary, etc. We probably have some factory settings (I might even call them default settings), that, …
What’s Different When We’re There in Person?
I attended a funeral last week. The woman who passed away was a family friend, someone important to me. The funeral was held in the city where I grew up, about two and half hours away. The funeral was held in person as well as streamed on the church’s Facebook page. I had two choices: …
Giving a Great Pitch, plus a Sneak Peek…
Last week I got to spend some time with Trey Scott, the founder of WatchPitch. His work brings entrepreneurs with great ideas together with investors, so he’s kind of a matchmaker. Trey invited me to come and speak with him about my book, Before You Say Anything: How to Have Better Conversations, Love Public Speaking, …
Try It for Ten Minutes
They say that, when you start running for exercise, you need to give yourself ten minutes to get warmed up and start feeling good. I suggest you apply the same formula to practicing. Give it ten minutes of focused effort to get over the hump of not wanting to do it, feeling silly, whatever. Ten …
What About When I Just Don’t Feel Like It?
What should we do when our mood is at odds with our intention? We know that we need to focus on the long-term impact of our communication. We know that getting frustrated or irritated won’t advance our cause. But we’re only human. We get annoyed, we get tired of running into the same obstacles, and …
“The” Creepiest Word
You may know that I am a proud Shakespeare geek. I was the Education Director at the National Shakespeare Company for years, and almost nothing makes me happier than a well-acted, well-produced Shakespeare play. I’m also a big language nerd. Why do words work the way they do? How do they change over time and …
“…as I could.”
Recently I was part of a discussion that centered around a quote that read, in part: “Did I reach out as far as I could? Did I serve as many people as I could?” One point of view that came up was that these questions can put a lot of pressure on the listener. The …
How Can I Handle Competing Intentions?
I got to spend some time last week with a wonderful team of people doing incredibly cool work. We were talking about my favorite topic: intentional communication! This team has chosen to really engage with the idea of intention, and to work it into their culture. In fact, they begin meetings by asking what intentions …
When to Pick Up the Phone
When your conversation spreads across more than one medium (from email, to text, to Messenger) When you find yourself asking, “What am I supposed to say to that?” When you wonder, “Wait, what happened here?” When you feel your blood pressure rising When you’re sure the other person is thinking annoyed thoughts about you When …