Merit Badges for Grown-Ups
When kids are little, we want them to try a lot of things. “How will you know what you like unless you try it?” We say this about foods, clothes, places, and people. In fact, some activities are engineered toward sampling lots of different things, for example in the Scouts programs. You are encouraged to …
You Don’t Have to Be a “10” at Public Speaking
Everybody doesn’t need to be equally good at everything. For some tasks and skills, having a basic competence is sufficient—let’s call that a 6. For other skills, where we really make our money and show our value, we need to be a 10. I don’t need to be good at accounting because i have a …
Kindness, Attention, Respect
I went to a routine medical appointment yesterday. The woman who was taking care of me said, “Thank you for being so pleasant! That’s been in short supply here today.” Her comment surprised me (I think I’m an average amount of “pleasant,” as a person), and I asked what had happened. Without getting into details, …
Do You Want Me Here, or Just My Money?
Recently I spent the day at an amusement park not too far from where I live. When we arrived, fifteen minutes after the gates opened, there was a long line to get in, even for people who had bought their tickets ahead of time. We spent quite a while in the line, and throughout our …
Failure and Practice
The moments of recognition of failure are the practice. Sam Harris, a neuroscientist and teacher of meditation, shared that thought. It resonates with me because even though Harris was talking about meditation, he could be referring to any skill we hope to acquire. When your mind is wandering during meditation, you don’t know that your …
Being Good at It Is More Fun
It’s more fun to already be good at it, whatever it is. Riding a bike, playing the guitar, sound editing…we want to be able to do it like we’ve seen others do it, effortlessly, gracefully, efficiently. But getting there is hard work, most of it behind the scenes. And that hard work isn’t always fun. …
When Your Default Intention Becomes Your Personality
We all have times when our default intention takes charge. Something happens, and that default intention kicks in. We need to defend ourselves, to prove we’re right, to prevent failure, to let them know they’re wrong, to hide, to make waves, to be heard…the list goes on. But what happens when the fear-based, default reaction …
Why Is That Chair There?
Make the furniture work for you. A lot of people take the arrangement of furniture in a conference room or auditorium space for granted, like it put itself there. Most likely, it was either left that way by the people in the room before you, or a team of people arranged it according to a …
Why I Smile First
When I’m meeting with a coaching client, I usually use my own Zoom platform, and I have the waiting room function enabled. When their name pops up at the top of the window, letting me know they’ve arrived, I smile. I smile as I click the button to let them in, before they can see …
I said GOOD MORNING
Have you ever been the in the audience when a speaker, after greeting the crowd and getting a tepid response, says: “Oh, I know you can do better than that. Good morning!” I had never thought much about it, but the subject came up recently after a friend shared that it bugs her when speakers …
