Getting (Knowledgeable) Feedback
The manager doesn’t get her job performance review from the barista in the lobby. The department head wouldn’t ask his next-door neighbor to go over his projections for the fiscal year. The coach isn’t looking into the stands for insight to fix his team’s struggles. The manager, the department head, and the coach turn to …
Our Greatest Truthtellers
Your body knows a lot. It knows when you’re feeling out of your depth, when you’re under-prepared, when you’re worried, when you’re excited. Sometimes it knows before you do. What does your body want you to know? What messages does it send you? What happens when you listen? What happens when you don’t?
“If You Do It in Practice…”
“If you do it in practice, you’ll do it in a game.” I don’t know who said this originally, but it’s a piece of sports wisdom that jumps right off the page at me. When I came across it recently, the person saying it meant that if you do it right in practice, you’ll do …
Why It’s So Hard to Change How We Communicate
The way we speak is at the heart of our identity. Our words and delivery style are unique to us, and at the same time they (literally) tell others who we are, where we come from, and what’s important to us. When you think about it that way, it’s no wonder that most of us …
One of My Favorite New Things
This post isn’t about communication skills, intention, or some little thing I noticed recently that I thought I’d pass along. No, it’s just a chance for me to share something that’s making me happy lately. I have shared in this space that I’ve recently gotten really into bird watching. The birds in our backyard—goldfinches, Carolina …
When You Talk Too Much
A client of mine has gotten feedback that he’s too wordy and goes into more much detail than is necessary. It’s clear from the volume of this type of feedback that this is a behavior that shows up all the time, regardless of the situation. I’ve observed it myself in our coaching sessions. In the …
“I Can’t Understand You When You Say Something I Don’t Like”
Sometimes clients are referred to us for communication coaching, and we can’t…quite tell why. They’re smart and clear, and they don’t struggle to convey their meaning, at least when they’re talking to us. When we dig a little bit, an interesting situation reveals itself. The people who referred the client to us don’t like what …
The Sunny Side
Years ago when I first lived in New York, a beloved older friend counseled me, “The winters are tough here, and it’s windy. Walk on the sunny side of the street.” It’s great practical advice, of course. But I think it’s pretty good metaphorical advice, too. Miss you, SK.
The Mystery of Executive Presence
We are often hired to coach people who have been told they need more “executive presence.” This is one of those pieces of feedback that is completely in the eye of the beholder; it’s a moving target. Often, “improving executive presence” simply means “look and act more like the person giving the feedback.” If that’s …
Being an Intentional Guest
I am a huge fan of Priya Parker and her book, “The Art of Gathering.” If the word “gathering” makes you think of something lofty and unusual, and maybe not applicable to you, I urge you to reconsider! Parker is using the word in its most expansive sense, both as a noun and as a …
